Schadenfreude and the Year in Hypocrisy

     Schadenfreude, noun, happiness derived from the misfortune of others.

     Schadenfreude is humankind’s dirty little secret. It’s the guilty pleasure we get when something bad happens to someone we feel deserves it. The feeling is perhaps no more decadently pleasurable that when a public figure is taken down a few notches.

I don’t often quote the bible, probably because I am an Atheist. But, when summing up 2009, I am reminded of Proverbs 16:18- Pride goeth before the fall.

There is a special place in the popular culture’s heart than when someone who feigns being holier than thou is shown to be less than such. There was no worse year for the holier than thou, or better year for those who loathe them than 2009.

Within the last 24 hours we were given such a gem: Karl Rove gets his second divorce.

I have nothing but sympathy for the former Mrs. Rove and her son for this tough news. But, with regards to Karl Rove, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

For those who don’t remember, Karl Rove helped George W. Bush get elected in 2004. What was his strategy? Use the fear of same sex marriage to mobilize social conservatives and evangelicals to vote for his boss.

After the election George W. Bush was president and discrimination was written into the constitution of several states, including my home state of North Dakota.

     The man who claimed he knew what was best to protect the sanctity of marriage now has two divorces under his belt. Sure it’s sad, but not as sad as it is funny.

     Also on the holier than thou political radar is soon to be former governor and perpetual political punch line, Mark Sanford.

     To recap his fall from grace: Governor Sanford disappeared for a brief period. Where was he when we were all speculating as to where he was? He was in South America visiting his Argentinean mistress.

     Governor Sanford is against the establishment of marriage equality or any form of recognition for same sex couples. With the long list of “family values” politicians cheating on their wives is almost a non-news item.

     What spices up his story is that Governor Sanford also voted to prohibit gay people from adopting. The day he left his wife with their children was Fathers’ Day. Ouch.

     In the same camp as Governor Sanford is Senator John Ensign of Nevada. He is on the record as voting for a federal constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage. He also voted against hate crimes protections for LGBT Americans.

     What made his story so juicy is not so much that he cheated on his wife, but that he cheated on her with an employee, who was also the wife of one of his top advisors. Double the betrayal, double the adultery!

     It gets better. He had his parents try to negotiate the hush money for the scandal. He appointed his mistress’s son to a fake position as part of the deal. That’s state money going into cleaning up his fuck ups.

     Perhaps the best story of the year was the rise and fall of Carrie Prejean. Her story has been plastered all over any medium that it would stick to. Here is a brief review.

     During the 2009 Miss USA pageant Carrie gave a now infamous and incomprehensible answer to a question in which she stated her opposition to same sex marriage rights. There was a large firestorm both supporting and opposing Carrie’s response. Those supporting her asserted that she lost the Miss USA pageant because of her views on gay marriage, catapulting her to the status of social conservative celebrity.

     Then the shit started hitting the fan. Many incidents came to light that sharply contrasted her image as conservative Christian poster child.

     Nude photos surfaced of Carrie, a clear breach of the rules of the Miss California pageant. After the scandal (nipple-gate if you will) Carrie was allowed to keep her crown, though briefly.

     Carrie was eventually de-crowned because of breach of contract issues. She had failed to make appearances that were her Miss California obligations. As a result it was demanded that she reimburse the pageant officials for the breast implants that they had provided for her.

     Then came the sex tape, later revealed to be tapes plural. In order to keep the tapes private Carries told her former boyfriend whom she had made them for to say that she was 17 when she made them. The former boyfriend refused to lie and let it be known that she was 20 when she made them.

     She is the story that refuses to die, and I hope in never does. Every time I think she’s as destroyed as she can possibly be, she self destructs again on Larry King.

     I think of all the ridiculous holier than thou characters, Carrie is my favorite. Unlike the others, she has absolutely no political power. It’s almost as if she exists solely to be a caricature of herself, a symbol to demonstrate how ridiculous her political position is.